Is there anyone you have not forgiven?
I think most people think that when you forgive a person, it is for the benefit for the other person and not ourselves. Others think that by forgiving someone you are letting them off the hook. If this is you, I want you to consider that when you forgive someone, it is for yourself. Why? Because it will set you free from the burden and pain.
We live in a society where when we are wronged, we are told to seek revenge. I have seen so many people go to Court seeking revenge where they have been wronged and come out saying the sentence given to the offender was not enough. But how much of a sentence would be enough to give peace so you can move on?
The world view is to get even when you have been wronged. The word of God has given us different instructions for this. Romans 12:19 (NLT) — 19 Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say, “I will take revenge; I will pay them back,” says the Lord.
Not taking revenge may seem difficult on the surface, depending on the depth of the offence, but the consequences of unforgiveness are much worse. Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. Unforgiveness leads to bitterness in a person’s heart and that leads to all sorts of diseases. It cannot be covered over by your appearance, your tears or your anger. It is a weight that keeps you stuck, where you are, so you cannot move forward in life.
You may say that the pain of the offence done to me is too great for me to forgive. You are right, you can’t forgive on your own strength, but the Lord can and is able to. The question is, will you let him in to help you? He is there waiting for you.
Jesus is faithful and will comfort you in the process. It says in Matthew 11:28–30 (NIV) 28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
In the Healing Rooms we see people come in with all sorts of pain and symptoms that look like arthritis, gut pains and cancer etc. where the root of their pain is unforgiveness of others or even themselves. If this sounds a little like you, we would encourage you to come into a Healing Rooms near you for prayer.
So, I will end where I started. Is there anyone you have not forgiven?
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Jesus also said 1 Peter 3:9 (NIV) — 9 Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing.
There was a recent Court case where a mother was killed in a car accident by a young man. At the end of the proceedings, the family went up to the young man and forgave him. Even though a mother was killed, this gave freedom to both parties and allowed them to start moving forward.
So, if you are stuck in unforgiveness, go to Jesus and say, I can’t do this so I leave this burden at your feet and ask the Lord to change your heart towards the offender or yourself. When you repent deeply from your heart, you will find that unforgiveness looses its grip and will free you.
So how do you get to a place where you can forgive someone? The first step is to understand that you cannot do this on your own strength. You need to leave revenge to the Lord, for it says in Romans 12:19 (NIV) — 19Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord.
Then it says in Matthew 18:21–22 (NLT) — 21 Then the Apostle Peter came to him and asked, “Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?” 22 “No, not seven times,” Jesus replied, “but seventy times seven!
Matthew 6:14–15 (NIV) — 14 For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.
1 Peter 2:23 (NIV) — 23 When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly.
It is one thing to forgive others, it is another thing to forgive ourselves. The good news is that Jesus is the one that can help you with either of these.